If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
