are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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