well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
