She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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