Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
