Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
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I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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