I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize