Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
