he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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