Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
false alarm, still single
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