I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My penis needs a shock collar
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
