I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
