Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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