Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
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