bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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