Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
