i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
