no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
