you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
