She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
