no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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