We named our party play list daddy issues
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
