She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
