OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
