My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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