Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
