My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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