Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
