Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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