There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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