I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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