i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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