this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
