So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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