I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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