i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
