We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
