just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
