bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
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Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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