I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
