as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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