Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize