i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
