I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
