plz talk dirty to me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Barsexuality is the new black.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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