Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize