Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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