I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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