Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
