Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
