I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
