i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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