We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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