What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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